A Hospice Nurse's Story

By Marjorie Beth Henderson, RN, BSN, CHPN

Delicate and frail, the ninety-year-old woman lay quietly in the hospital bed, her shallow breathing barely discernible. Silvery hair framed her kind face where velvety wrinkles had been caressed by many-a-grandchild, and remnants of laugh-lines marked the corners of her mouth.

Shadows of evening had already fallen, and except for soft strains of a favorite song, “Blessed Assurance” playing from the CD, the room was silent. Death seemed imminent, and I tried not to look at the clock. Praying that this dear lady’s family would arrive in time, I gently placed her frail hand in mine. “Miss Elly, I’m still here. I’m going to stay with you until your family comes.”

Her eyelids flickered. I refused to look at the clock. Leaning forward, I caressed her fragile hand. My thoughts were filled with gratitude for Miss Elly’s life and for what she had brought to the world and also were filled with images of the loved ones she would leave behind.

In these moments, I want the world to stop. I try to forget that beyond this room I have other patients in the Hospice House, knowing my co-workers will take care of them. I pray that peace will prevail over pain and surpass all fear and unanswered questions. Nothing is more important than this one precious life and the passing that is taking place.  Other pressing nursing duties fall away and priorities re-set themselves.

Without exception, the Hospice nurses I know view their work as not just a job, but a calling. While at work, these nurses place their personal worlds of problems and cares on hold to focus on patients who have six months to live—or six hours. They zero-in on families who face multiple responsibilities and the inevitable void that the absence of this loved one will bring. Along with other members of an interdisciplinary team, Hospice nurses strive to help patients and families “put the pieces together” as their world seems to be falling apart. Patients and families are encouraged to continue meaningful daily living, assisted to complete necessary tasks at hand, and offered support as they ride the emotional roller coaster of acceptance, denial, and life review that can stir up both treasured memories and bitter regrets.

A Hospice nurse’s role is tailored to each patient’s needs—for no family situation is the same and each patient is unique as well. The commonality is that we are all human beings. We are born . . . we live . . . we die. For Hospice patients, death is a process and end-of-life care becomes a major determinant in what their quality of life will be.

One must understand that this “dying process” is on an uncertain timeline that falls into the realm of “living”.  In other words, we live until we die.

As a Hospice nurse, my goal is to truly help each of my patients “live until they die” - - to provide compassionate care that promotes the highest quality of life possible until that last breath is taken. May the passing of each person be with dignity, in the circumstances of their choice.  And if at all possible—may there be at least one caring person present to hold their hand.

Marjorie Beth Henderson, RN, BSN, CHPN, is on staff at Hospice House, Florence, SC

Editor's note: November was National Hospice/Palliative Care Month, but we wanted to share this compelling account of a day in the life of a hospice nurse.